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February 2012

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Sep 07, 2011

RETARD

The other day, I received a letter sent to my website. I have deleted the names and locations for obvious reasons, but here it is:

Good morning, Steve!

I attended your show Friday night in (omitted) at (omitted). Good show! I enjoyed it!

I just wanted to encourage you to do one thing...I am hoping you will consider not using the r-word (retarded) in your act. Here is a great YouTube video that explains why: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T549VoLca_Q

I do a whole lot of work with Special Olympics, Autism Speaks, Goodwill, and a variety of other organizations that serve people with disabilities. The r-word is REALLY offensive to individuals and families that have members with intellectual disabilities. I have a son with autism who is 5 and is still non-verbal and in diapers. The r-word to our families is like using the n-word for African-American families.

I know it is a comedy show.....and I know you didn't make any jokes directly at those with disabilities. You were just using the word retarded as a way to communicate that something was not the smartest way of doing something. I know you didn't mean anything by it...but it still stings on our 1 night out every two to three months to forget about our son's disability.

Again, GREAT show. I enjoyed it! Just hope you will consider my request after watching the video link above.

Sincerely,
Dr.(BLANK)

Now, here's the thing. well, there are many things, but this letter really took me off guard. I go out of my way to not offend anyone based on their color, creed, nationality, sexual preference, etc. I figure it is much easier to offend people on a more personal level. While I understand, first off, that this individual was personally offended, and that bothers me, but this letter personally offended ME, and that also bothers me. I found it to be condescending and, quite honestly, ignorant and short-sighted.

Let's start with the fact that he signed the letter DOCTOR so-and-so. Clearly, this person is not a medical doctor, or they would have had an MD after their name, but they put the DOCTOR in the front as if to say to me, "JUST SO YOU KNOW, I AM EDUCATED". Then he says "the r-word", then puts the actual word in parentheses... (retarded). Like I wouldn't figure out what the R word was, without his clarification?!? But lets delve a little deeper. He says "the r word to our families is like the n word to African American families". Let's start there. The "N" word, is a word that is based on hate, it has no real definition and is only a slang word meant to demean. The R word, retarded, is an ACTUAL word, with ACTUAL purpose, and.. ahem... is the PROPER WORD TO USE to describe someone who is mentally handicapped! In fact, Mentally Handicapped is NOT the right word, nor is it exact (someone could be mentally handicapped due to a number of reasons; accidents, stroke, alcohol and drug use/abuse, or, as he is trying to imply, a birth defect) wherein the word "retarded" ACTUALLY means someone who is mentally slow as a birth defect. Lets note also that retarded is a medical term, lest we forget that someone with Down's Syndrome, etc has "mental retardation". It is not a word that now, or ever, was designed to be hurtful or hateful. So, NO, it is NOTHING like the word n*gger, or, for that matter, c*nt, f*g or whatever else, which are all derogatory terms. Second, his use of the word "African American" offends ME... and, a large percentage of the black population. He clearly does not know a lot of black people, who bristle at the use of the word "African American" when they MEAN black. Darker skinned people can be from ALL OVER THE WORLD, Jamaica, Canada, Europe, etc, not just Africa. If they live here, they are American, period. I am American, not European American. I am caucasian, or white, if you need to denote a color, but don't try centralize me to a continent, especially one I have never been to. Most black people feel the same way. Sure, the terminology changes, but few people call them African Americans nowadays, and THAT in and of itself is a condescending term.

But moving on. He proceeds to justify his statements by making a list of his charity work, and the fact that he himself has a child with Autism (which, btw, is NOT Down's Syndrome, the typical disease referred to when mentioning retardation) and as a result, I should listen to what he says and watch his Youtube video. I did not watch the video, btw, but I left the link up in case any of you would like to. He then proceeds to say that I used the word PROPERLY, and wasn't referring to anyone with disabilities (which I wasn't; I specifically say "I get it now, I am not retarded"... referring to myself, not anyone else, and in reference to having some knowledge) and then tells me how much he enjoyed the show. THEN throws in a guilt trip about how I basically ruined his one night out this quarter. NOT NICE!

Here's the thing. You go to a comedy club, you leave your politically correct hat at home. You go to a club EXPECTING TO BE OFFENDED, that is a big part of comedy, the forum to say inappropriate things, make light of them, and TAKE THEM AS A JOKE. Someone tells Little Johnny, Dead Baby or Polish jokes all the time, you don't like it, you don't have to repeat it. It's just a joke. But of all the topics I talk about onstage, from tea-bagging, Cleveland steamers, ejaculations of airplanes, etc... the one thing that stuck in your craw was a word that was used in it's proper context?!? Listen, I am sorry life dealt you a shitty hand. If someone points at your kid individually and calls him names, absolutely, be offended. But don't take that out on someone who meant no harm and didn't say anything offensive.

This "overly sensitive" society bullshit has to stop. Pick your cause, rally all you want... but keep it out of the comedy clubs.